i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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