D3 body, D1 cock
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
