i would punch a child for taco bell
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
