Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
