The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
