oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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