You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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