PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
