I think i sorta joined a cult last night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
