My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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