I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
