apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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