I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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