Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
