The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
is it fun? or sober?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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