Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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