YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
people are starting to question the shark bite story
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
