I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
