Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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