First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
they need to just BURY HIM!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
