Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
