He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The adults are the big ones right?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
