I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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