We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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