Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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