I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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