It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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