I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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