my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
