She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize