He kissed a someone with a penis
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
