I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
