So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
