I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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