"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
