sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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