I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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