I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
