eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
