When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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