omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
