I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
