i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
