Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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