I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
50% drunk capacity currently
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
