found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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