Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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