fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
