I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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