ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
