her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
