Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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