i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
