just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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