Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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