he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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