My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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