ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
