WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
