We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
