What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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