"it" just moved
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
