shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
