Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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