i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
