My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
