If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
