so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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