when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
