i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
