It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
