okay pat passed out under dana's car
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize