I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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