can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
