Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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